Story of My Feelings

It was my brother
Who gave me the picture
It was my condition
That gave me the time
To question
What I was to do
With my life
He said that
The world is bleeding
But I'm helpless
to heal it
I've been given
Gifts beyond compare
Yet I'm stuck
In a life
Of my own decisions
I want to follow Christ
I want to give away
Everything I own
If it meant
That I could
Make a difference
But my partner
Sees only the daily
Tasks frozen into
Her concept
Of what
The world needs
Her perception
Is fixated on our family
As a Mother should
What I worry about
Are things
So far above
Our daily existence
That there's
No way to even
Give her map
To find her way
To the point
Of view where
I found myself
Consumed by
A growing fear
That my visions
Of despair
Are more accurate
Than I can imagine
Once again
I found myself
At a dead end
Left only with the
Banal completion
Of keeping
Our lives together
Lurching forward
In a zombie death march
Into oblivion