Story of My Feelings

What if you knew something
That everyone needed to hear?
But no one would listen?

What if you could see things?
Simple things;
Things of beauty and hope.
But no matter
how much you pointed,
no one could see it?

What if you heard
the whispers of God?
What if He revealed to you
new prophecies,
new truths,
new laws?
But you couldn't
find the way
to tell His story?

If ignorance is bliss,
then knowledge is misery.
Misery,
which you carry daily.
As if you must
walk the Via Doloraosa
every day of your life.

While some have
a cross to bear,
I have only knowledge.
But its' weight
is so immense,
it trips me
and makes me stumble.

What if you
never reached Golgotha?
What if you
were sentenced to repeat
the same tribulations,
over and over gain.
Each step
drawing you closer,
only to find
the next day
with a cross beam
strapped to your back.

No release,
no surrender,
just pain
and suffering.

It was my brother
Who gave me the picture
It was my condition
That gave me the time
To question
What I was to do
With my life
He said that
The world is bleeding
But I'm helpless
to heal it
I've been given
Gifts beyond compare
Yet I'm stuck
In a life
Of my own decisions
I want to follow Christ
I want to give away
Everything I own
If it meant
That I could
Make a difference
But my partner
Sees only the daily
Tasks frozen into
Her concept
Of what
The world needs
Her perception
Is fixated on our family
As a Mother should
What I worry about
Are things
So far above
Our daily existence
That there's
No way to even
Give her map
To find her way
To the point
Of view where
I found myself
Consumed by
A growing fear
That my visions
Of despair
Are more accurate
Than I can imagine
Once again
I found myself
At a dead end
Left only with the
Banal completion
Of keeping
Our lives together
Lurching forward
In a zombie death march
Into oblivion