Story of My Feelings

It is an often encountered theory that we will either become one our parents or we will marry someone "just like them," i.e., marrying your father or mother. I have had the unique opportunity to see this evolve in front of me. I've observed for many years the similarities between my wife and her mother, so much so, that the imprint of mother upon the daughter is undeniable. Now I've begun to see another undeniable trend, the imprint of my wife upon her daughters. I try to remain impartial to this observation, but it is complex. Unfortunately I find myself responding negatively to some of my daughters behavior because of the issues I have with their mother about similar behavior.

With regular therapy, I'm now able to identify the patterns that indicate bad mental hygiene. I see the early signs of those patterns developing within my children, and it seems like I'm powerless to disrupt the development. I try to layout more effective ways to deal with their emotions, but I fear my counsel lands of deaf ears. They're already becoming used to yelling as the only way to make a point.

Yesterday a young boy was murdered in his school. I told S that I felt scared to think about letting our daughters go out by themselves when they get older. She responded by telling me that no place was safe.